Money sucking cabbies!!!

I just came back from lunch with two former colleagues in Bukit Bintang.

I had problems flagging down a cab, so I thought I'd walk and hail one along the way. One eventually stopped but asked for MYR7 outside the former MAS building. I said no as it was less than 5 km away.

So I continued walking, while watching out for cabs but NONE stopped!

My legs were getting tired as you can imagine, I was walking in my heels, and my recent frequent visits to the gym aggravated my already aching legs.

I walked to Shangri-la hotel finally and decided to enlist their concierge's help to get a cab. One cab stopped, hotel staff told him where I wanted to go and he said ok. The moment I got into his cab and closed the door, he said "MYR10 ok?" with a big smiley grin.

"NO WAY!! It is very near!" I exclaimed. He refused to take me so I got down from the cab. If I didn't agree to paying MYR7 15 minutes ago, I am most certainly not going to pay MYR10 for a much nearer distance! The hotel staff were all looking puzzled when I got down from the car.

I waited for another cab at the hotel, and finally this one was willing to take me, and I only paif MYR2.60 for it!! I gave the driver a tip!

Bidding farewell to a loved one

"To my beloved grandmother, you shall forever live in our memories, and you will be sorely missed..."

My grandmother passed away at 0625, 26th October 2006 in General Hospital Ipoh wad 8B.
None of us were by her bedside as it was too early in the morning. Only the Indonesian maid which we hired to look after her was by her bedside during her last moments.

This is something which will haunt me and my eldest cousin for the rest of our lives. You see, we visited her at midnight the night before, and the nurse did tell us that from her experience patients with such symptoms will not lasts either the night or the next day. My cousin wanted to take my grandma home but decided against it later as no doctor was around to sign her letter of release. For me, I was silently rejecting the idea that we were bringing her home to await for death, and I didn't want to face the possibility that my grandmother was leaving us. But at 0630 in the morning, a loud bang on my door jerked me from my sleep, and the next 10 minutes was a daze as we rushed to get dressed and rushed to the hospital.

I was the first one to arrive at her bedside. Both sides of the curtains were drawn, and I will never forget the scene that stopped me in my track. Lying on the bed, was a body wrapped in white. My legs would not move, and my heartbeat dropped at the sight. Tears started to rush down my face as I stared helplessly at my grandma's lifeless body. I did not have the courage to unwrap the white cloth, secretly I was already hating myself for being so late. I suspect that this guilt of not being to send my grandma off will haunt me for a long long time to come..

The funeral was held 2 days later. While we slowly come to reality of my grandma's death, I have to admit that at times I was pretending that she is merely away somewhere to lessen the pain. Sudden gushes of pain and sadness engulfed us for the 2 days. I could not look at my grandma's body, lying in the coffin, without a tear in my eyes.

But, at least, she is no longer suffering. Wherever she is now, I hope she is happy, and know that we will always remember and love her. She was one strong lady, and never have I met another person whose fighting spirit matches hers.

To all my friends and colleagues who sent their condolences, I thank you for your support during this difficult time. The mere effort of reaching out to me during this difficult time meant alot and I thank you sincerely. Here, I am sharing with you all the support I received in the last few days.

"Our dear Almighty God. On this day, You've reminded us that You are in control of things that happened in our lives. We as Your humble children could only pray to You for Your strength and guidance upon our lives. I come before You this day to ask for Your shoulder of comfort to be upon my dear sister, Susan whose grandma has returned to you O Lord. I too ask for Your forgiveness upon her sins and that You'll bless her soul so that she could rest in peace for eternity. May You provide strength to Susan and auntie Monica during this difficult time as they mourn their loss of their beloved grandma and mother. I thank you for each day of our lives and humbly ask for Your love and blessings upon our lives. May Your guardian angel watch over Susan and the rest of the families as they travel on the road to bid farewell to our dearest Po Po. In Jesus name, Amen."
Andrew

"She was a strong lady."
Jassy

"Deepest condolences to you and your family. May God bless her soul and may she rest in peace."
Ben

"I am sorry to hear that your grandmother passed away. Take care."
Dominic

"Our deepest condolence on the demise of your granny. From all your friends at Boustead."
Pat

"Sorry to hear that your grandmother passed away and my deepest sympathy."
Kin Ko

"My deepest condolences to you and your family. May God grant you peace and comfort. Hugs."
Cheryl

"Sorry to hear that. Our condolences to you and family."
Yong CK

"Would like to send my deepest condolence upon hearing your grandmother passed away. My well wishes to you and may your grandmother rest in peace."
KS

"May God strengthen you and your family in this time of loss. With deepest condolences on the demise of your beloved grandma."
Jim

"My condolences on the passing of your grandmother. Take care."
GM

"My condolences to you. Be strong. We are all GOD's creation."
Fariz

"Wishing you hope in the midst of sorrow, Comfort in the midst of pain with heartfelt sympathy."
Sumitha

Thank you.

When your ex calls..

Have you ever been caught off guard by your ex?

My ex called me out of the blue today and asked if I wanted to meet up with rest of the "gang" this Friday.. (thank God I am heading for Bangkok tomorrow... so I have a perfectly good excuse.. :-p)

The only thing is, there is this constant awkward "we are trying to strike up a conversation without feeling awkward" mood when I communicate with exs.

Am just wondering, is it ever possible not to feel awkward to talk to your ex after break ups?

Wobbly legs...

I have been shamed to update my blog...

I better provide some updates...

I went to Batu Caves on Sunday morning to climb the steps there. For what you may ask... well actually I went there to get fit and to train for mountain climbing (if I ever attempt another climb... haha..). So up the stairs I went..

First 100 steps, still manageable, next 100 I can feel my legs getting tired... by the time I get to the top, my legs were ready to give way... Went down the steps in a jiffy and rested for 5 minutes before heading up a second time. The second time was worse, having to stop every now and then to catch my breath and rest my legs.. but still managed to reach the top! I am amazed at my capabilities, despite having not exercised in awhile..

Would you believe that I was crazy enough to climb a third time, my limbs were definitely complaining, and I promised myself that I'd only climb half way. In the end I managed to finish all 3 climbs! I am pretty proud of myself...

Only that.....

2 days after my climb, I am feeling the pain.. my tendons are defying my commands and wobbling whenever I walk down steps.. My small calves are painful... I just hope that the fire drill that building management was talking about does not happen today or tomorrow (*gulp.....)

High on cough syrup...?

It's almost end of a working day.. can't wait...

I caught up with the fasionable flu and cough of this season, and went to the doc during lunch time. The doctor harped on my nasal problem (which I disagree... but will not argue with her). I collected my medicine, and asked the nurse whether the cough mixture will cause drowsiness. She replied, "No, this is mild" Ok, great!

Came back to the office, took my lunch and my medicine. 1 hour later (and still am), I felt funny.. My movements are not very synchronised, and I was very sleepy. My eyelids are heavy as well... the nurse lied to me!!! Can you imagine having to withstand 3 hours of this? I am practically floating on air... just cannot wait to get home and sleep...

Would love to write more, but am not thinking straight right now... this will have to do now.. ta!

A poem return in kind..

I was so moved by his poem, and the turn of recent events prompted me to write this.
Personally, I am quite proud of this poem.
I hope he likes it too.

Dedicated to him

There were a few occasions where I got upset
Because my expectations were not met
Why, I asked myself is he so cold
Towards his once beloved Blue Rose

A few more instances later
Still he act as if I did not matter
Realisation dawned upon me
That he is no longer the same B

Secretly my suspicion grew
But before my intuition tells me it’s true
I turned around, and noticed someone new
She is now the one you want to pursue

From caring and loving to casual acquaintances
It is difficult to adjust under such circumstances
Especially when one is used to 100% attention
And suddenly now it drops to 0% affection

Regrets, I have to admit
There is a tiny little bit
Coupled with the many 'what ifs'
And who you are going to be with

Saddened, upset and disappointed I may be
I have to accept that you will no longer be there for me
My head tells me to continue as good friends
Yet my heart wonders if we can

Torn between my head and my heart
Sometimes the thoughts tear me apart
Should I continue to take part
Or just quietly make a depart

Until such time things become clear
I don’t think I will get too near
In fear that things might get too queer
For both of us, thus I want to make sure

As ironic as what I said may appear
But this much I am certain is sincere
Whatever happens I will be here
For to me you will always be a dear

Yeu va Om
B Sue

A beautiful poem from him to me..

A very dear friend wrote this beautiful poem to me, and I was very touched. It is the most beautiful poem I have ever received and I treasure it very much. I have decided to share it with all of you..

To Susan....

Sleepless nights and lonely days,
Awaiting for you and counting the days,
The passing of time is like eternity,
Missing the warmth that you gave me,

A moment passes not,
Without you in my thoughts,
If you'd only open this heart and see,
The constant longing ache for you in me,

No other girl have come close,
To compare with you, my Blue Rose,
Such intelligence, talent and grace,
With a kind heart and a beautiful face,

Never have I felt this way before,
Not for anyone, nor for ever more,
I want always to show you more,
You're the one person I most adore,

So tell me now and show me how,
To win your heart and make you go "wow!"
There's no one else I would rather want,
None other than Ms. Susan Tan....

I love you, Sue.

No matter wat happened in the past and no Matter what will happen in the future.

Haze filled days

Air conditions in the Klang Valley has deteriorated so much that pedestrians walking with a mask is no longer a rare sight. Even I myself have to keep reminding myself that I am not in Genting Highlands, and the air that I am breathing in is not fresh.

Yes, I am talking about the haze which hit Klang Valley for the past week, the worst being the yesterday and today. Government has declared that schools in KL will be closed for 2 days. Last I heard, Subang airport is closed as visibility dropped below 200m and Shah Alam and Port Kland have been declared to be in state of emergency. To qualify, your Air Pollution Index (API) needs to be above 500. If what my friend forwarded me is true, i.e. KL's API is above 400, then I am secretly wishing that we hit 500 and be given off for tomorrow. I mean, if we are to suffer, might as well be given offday to stay indoor rather than risk our health and go outdoor. 450 and 500 is not alot of difference, and not like if we inhale the air at API450, we are that much healthier.

Of course, if given a choice, I would want the haze to go away.. This haze is the worst I have seen hitting KL in my enire life.

Rain rain don't go away, come if you may everyday, we all need you for work or play...

A world of new vision...

Been meaning to update my blog with the latest thing in my life...
I went for....... Lasik! What is Lasik, I hear some of you ask, well, to put it in simple enough terms, it's vision correction surgery.

I booked my appointment on 14th July, and for 2 weeks before that, I was not allowed to wear contact lenses as they dry out the eyes and may affect results of examination. There I was, feeling like a high school geek all over again for 2 weeks. What's more, all events of imortance e.g. meeting in HQ, deparmental head meeting, parties, sports activities all had to happen during that week. And I got asked the question of why I was wearing specs on a daily basis. All forms of dodging did not work and I had to tell them that I was considering Lasik.

On 14th July, went to the clinic and waited for my turn to do the eye examination. Process will take about 2-3 hours inclusive of consultation. Wasn't really nervous as my cousin did it about 1 year before that, and have heard many other friends doing it too. Went through a series of tests which includes Topometry test, Cornea thickness and others (don't remember them anymore).. 2 hours and about 5 types of eye drops later, the consultant told me "Good news! Your cornea thickness is good enough so you can do Lasik!" That is hardly good news to me as I have expected to be able to do it and walk out of the clinic clear of my specs! Good news would be more like "You are our monthly lucky draw winner and your operation is FOC" That is good news..

Anyway, after I decided to go ahead with the operation, they put some eye drops to dilate my pupils. And off we went to the operating room. Those who played SIM Hospital will know what I mean when I say the operating room looks exactly like that. Lying on the operating table, I was as calmed as I can be, trying not to fidget nor think about what is about to happen.

I shall not go into details of what the procedure was like. To summarise, they cut my cornea flap open, reshape my cornea using laser (i.e. burn off some cells) so that light can refocus, clean the wound, tip the flap back and voila! Done for one eye, rest for 30 seconds, and it's the other eye's turn. Whole procedure ended in 20 minutes. The moment I stood up and looked through my hazy but clear vision, it was like "wow!" 20 minutes and I am rid of contact lenses and glasses! How wonderful is that? The initial day after the surgery was a bit uncomfortable as your eyes tend to get tired very easily, teary and sensitive to light. But take 2 days of rest and you will be fine. I was driving on my third day! The feeling is like wearing contact lenses all the time, without the hassle of solutions, saline, lenses complications, glasses and others... when I travel now I just love the feeling of not having to remember to bring extra pair of lenses, casing, glasses and all! It is indescribable.. for those who are lucky enough not needing to wear glasses, you will not truly understand how liberating this is.. but it is a marvellous feeling. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to rid of their "inconvenience". Although few thousand dollars poorer, I have not regretted it for 1 second. 2 weeks of inconvenience and couple of thousand is definitely worth it...!

Oh, for those who are curious to know whether I blinked or how I managed not to blinked, do not worry, you have no chance to blink. Nothing some scotch tape, stickers and "eye-jack" wouldn't fixed.. haha...!

Chatroom lingos

When I was younger, I used to IRC... so I know the lingos used in chatrooms.. but nowadays it has become so complicated.. ok fine, so I maybe outta touch with the lingo because.... (if you are thinking what I am refusing to say here.. don't say it...)

Anyway, read the newspaper today and it is so interesting the amount of abbreviations they have nowadays.. I gotta share this.. and I thought only airlines have alot of abbreviations...

PITA - Pain in the a**
POTS - Parents/ Partner over the shoulder
SOS - Same old stuff
GAL - Get a Life
KIT - Keep In touch
IMHO - In my humble opinion
LSHMBB - Laughing so hard my belly's bouncing
LTNS - Long time no see
AAK - Alive and kicking
TCOB - Taking care of business
SETE - Smiling from ear to ear
WB - Welcome back
BBL - Be back later
BRB - Be right back
TOY - Thinking of you
H&K - Hugs and kisses
CSG - Chuckle, Snciker, Grin
GMTA - Great minds think alike (although I was thinking along the line of Give Me The Answer)
PMFJI - Pardon me for jumping in
DIKU - Do I know you
IAC - In any case
HHIS - Hangs head in shame
BEG - Big Evil Grin
DIS - Did I say...
TYT - Take your time
IGP - I gotta pee
IRL - In real life

Goodness.. how many did you correctly "decode"?

A friend recently took up a challenge of writing a story using all the abbreviations given by another, and the list has more than 50 abbreviations. He managed to come up with a story that made sense...! I thought it was brilliant!

If anyone wants to try, they can. Use the above and come up with a story?

I am thankful...

Have you ever encountered a really bad week at work? It is so bad that you leaving home every night feeling lethargic, and drag your feet to work the next day, only to look forward to going home the moment you step into office? You feel that your energy is sapped by an invisible force and you are not motivated to do anything? Well, this week I did.

It is so bad that I am constantly lost in my own thoughts, and walk in a daze.. I do not know what happened and what caused me to feel this way, but I wish that I can snap out of it soon.

During moments of soul searching, I pondered and whined about it and felt down. Until this morning...

I was driving to work, and crawling in line to get past this stretch of road on my way to work, and I looked away for 2 seconds, next thing I knew, I felt my whole car shake and realised that I hit the car in front. The realisation was so great that I was stunned for awhile. I did not know how to react, The car in front stopped to examine his car. Fortunately it was only minor scratches and paints coming off.. he did not pursue the matter and continued his journey. I was too shaken up to do anything but to continue my drive to office, thie time being extra careful that I stay away from the car in front. Secretly, I am angry with myself for this incident as it was totally my fault, and I could have avoided it. But because of my carelessness it happened. I feel really bad about this.

I examined my car when I reached my office, and thankfully it was also minor scratches to my car. I would be very hard on myself if anything serious happened.

Hours later, I read a forwarded email by a friend. It was an email on being thankful for what you have. We received forward emails like this on a daily basis, and I usually forward it on. But today it struck a chord in my heart. Although still in my lousy mood (which I have had for the whole week), I began to realise that I had more to be thankful for than being sulky.

I mean, I could have been killed in a car accident, or injured. The other car could have been badly damaged, or mine. The owner of the other car could have been a road bully or someone nasty. I could have been late for work. None of that happened. The driver left without asking for any compensation and no serious damage was done to my car and I made it to work in my usual time! I did not take all of those into account and neither did I realised how blessed I was. Something could have gone terribly wrong!

I guess I am just trying to pull myself out of this self wallowing and down mood that I am in. I am feeling slightly better but it is not enough to lift me out of this rut.. I am also thankful that weekend is near so hopefully I will recover to my normal cheerful self. I am not used to myself being like this.

The general feeling is that I need a getaway (but I just came back from one 2 months ago).. A friend say that I am burnt out, or having quarter life crisis. I don't know, perhaps..

The Power of Human Touch..

Someone once told me to try this experiment:

" If you do not come into any physical contact with human being, or remain 'untouched' for 24 hours, you'd become highly irritable". Apparently it's quite true. I have tried it myself, well can't say I survived the full 24 hours, but I sure was easily annoyed on that day.

My conclusion - there is something very powerful in human touch that keeps you sane and emotionally healthy.

Why don't you try it and tell me?

Riinnnngggggg..........!

What is the most unfriendly sound in the whole wide world every morning..?

My alarm clock going off.. signalling me to leave the comfort my bed and pillows and get ready for work.. whoever invented alarm clocks and handphones with that feature should be severely punished.....!

Hello again..

Hi..

Sorry.. I know I have not been updating my blog for a looooooonnnggggg time..
I offer no excuses except that I was incredibly busy and tied up with work and activities.

I do have events or incidents that I want to share with you but have no time to update my blog.
Bear with me, they are coming shortly.. I promise

Significance of dreams..

We sometimes dream when we sleep.. but we often don't remember all our dreams when we wake up.. some say dream is a representation of what is important to you, some say it is a reflection of your innerself, some say it is a prediction of future, some don't believe in any of it..

When I was young, I always dream the same dream.. I dream that I was in a white room, being chased by a giant "roll" of threads.. it's always the same dream, I do not know the symbolic meaning of it, and still do not know although the dream has stopped occuring. Often, in magazines or articles whereby objects or events in dreams are interpreted, I cannot find one for my dream. It would be nice to know what my dream meant..

Another dream which always haunt me is a dream of the ground I am walking on suddenly starts to collapse.. it was a dream that often came into play when I was sick, esp fever. I would dream that I was standing on a balcony and it gave way and I start to fall, or I was walking across a pedestrian bridge and it collapsed all of a sudden... either way I would jerked up from my sleep...

But as I grow older, these dreams slowly disappeared.. I still dream, but I can never remember much about them..

Had a terrible day at work?

We all have bad days at work, don't we?

You must have encountered some bad days at work before, you know, those that drive you nuts, makes you wanna walk into your GM's office and tell him that you quit?

Well, I've had a terrible week at work.. (thank God it's Friday, almost thought that Friday wouldn't come). I have tried many a times to pen down my thoughts when I am frustrated at work but it never seem to work. Either I am too frustrated or too occupied wth work to write my blog.. when I am finally free (usually after work or weekends), I don't feel like dwelling into my memory bank for those frustrating moments again, just to write my blog..

Someone told me that there is no such thing as a terrible/ horrible day at work. He maintains that it is all in one's mind. To a certain exent this is true, but I maintain that there are worse days than others. Recently, I am feeling it more than ever.. I don't know if it's a sign that I am not enjoying my job anymore, or is it just a passing phase.. I am still trying to determine.

To quote a friend, "If you enjoy your work you do not have to work a day in your life.."

Ironies...

Pondering over some thoughts... maybe you have answers?

Why does it always rain when you are wearing your favourite shoes/ dress?
Why does it always rain when I do not drive to work/ forget my umbrella?
Why does the phone never ring when you want it to?
Why does the phone always ring the moment you step away from your desk/ when you shower?
Why the person that you secretly hope will call never will, but others whom you don't want to always will?
Why do all appointments fall on the same day, as if they know that that's the only day in the week which I am fully occupied?
When you are really busy and feel that it can't get any busier, it always will..
When you are really free and want to look for some activities, either all your friends are occupied or you have no where to go..

I have quite a few other whys as well.. but don't feel like putting them down, how about you? Do you have any ironies to share?

Gotta run..

Happy New Year..!

Happy New Year to all...! It's now 2005..

Don't people always have resolutions for the new year? Though we never fulfill half of them, I suppose it's still nice to have a goal. and a yardstick to measure what we failed to accomplish (yet again) in a year... Well, instead of having big resolutions this year, think I'll just have small baby ones to accomplish.. If you share the same interest/ resolutions, drop me a note.. maybe we can plan some of the activities together?

My 2005 Resolutions (actually it's more like things to accomplish) in 2005)
1) Learn to cook fried rice like my grandma
2) Bake more often (think lasagne, cookies, cakes..)
3) Go to gym at least once a week
4) Make new friends (a whole lot more)
5) Seriously consider a career move
6) Join salsa class (or ballroom dancing)
7) Spend more time with my family
8) Try a new eatery every month
9) Go swimming (can't remember the last time I swam)
10) Visit my friends in other countries
11) Practice singing on high notes (for karaoke sessions.. hehe)
12) Be less emotional
13) Worry less
14) Say sorry when I am wrong and mean it
15) Learn my way around KL (so I don't get lost so often..!)
16) Sort out my wardrobe
17) Remember my friends' birthdays (ok.. so I left out a few this year..)
18) Be less temperamental and stubborn
19) Stay in touch with friends
20) Learning to stop trying for things which will not work out
21) Love myself (and protect my heart)
22) Inject more positive thoughts and flush out the negative ones
23) Learn to accept and adapt
24) Tell those that I love, I love them (we never do this enough..)
25) Embrace the unknown

Here's wishing everyone a happy year ahead.. may your year be filled with luck, love, joy.. and much more...

A blog everyday?

I was recently "reprimanded" for not updating my blog often enough.. one friend commented that it was boring because I don't update it enough, and another.. well she just mentioned that I should update it everyday with short stories of my life, if I have nothing else to say.. I didn't even know people come to my blog so often to read.. ok ok.. I'll try.

Have you ever had to work without your left/ right hand man? I am in that position now. My secretary is on leave till nxt year, and so are my two other colleagues. I am basically running the show alone in the office. Being new in this department does not help, I can't find half the stuff I'm supposed to so I am keeping everything under the heading "pending". In days like these, I pray that nothing serious happens because I have no one around me to ask/ refer to.

Maybe some of you do not have the luxury of having a secretary. I didn't use to have one till I moved to this department 4 months ago. Well, having a secretary is a good and bad thing.. the good thing is she sorts all my mails, organise things for me. My task is basically to read, decide and delegate. But now, I have to sort, organise, read, decide and action. Workload becomes threefold when my other colleague is not around too. I sometimes wonder why do I allow this to happen? The bad thing about having a secretary.. well she reminds you of everything that you need to do. She will not let you forget things that you do not want to do (but supposed to), and she's the one who brings in tonnes of paperwork for me to clear. When she is not around, I I can leave for home earlier so sometimes I do wish that she goes on leave (but not long leave).. hehe..
That's my thought for the day..

Christmas

I love the feeling of Christmas.. actually I think I love the feeling of pre-Christmas better than Christmas itself.

Weeks before Christmas, retail shops, malls and streets will be litted with colourful decorations. I have always wondered why does Christmas bring this funny and fuzzy feeling.. everywhere you go, everybody seem to be doing last minute shopping, gift wrapping counters are jam packed with people queuing up.. everywhere you go, people are humming christmas songs..

Let's see, what do I like about Christmas:
-it's celebrated by all
-the season to bury the hatchet and forgive
-the time for family bonding
-an occasion to dress up
-an occasion to buy christmas presents and see how normal items transform into pretty boxes with decorations
-an occasion to receive presents
-christmas feast (think turkey, cranberry sauce, logcakes.. )
-beautifully decorated christmas items everywhere (malls, streets, shops, individual residences)
-merry christmas jingles (which everyone seems to know)
-an occasion to party

For me, Christmas this year will be quiet. I have not lined up any activities for it. Come what may, I think I will just have a quiet Christmas this year, for a change. But, not before I make my colleagues sing Christmas carols today.. hehe.. this should be fun.

Merry Christmas everybody!