I am thankful...

Have you ever encountered a really bad week at work? It is so bad that you leaving home every night feeling lethargic, and drag your feet to work the next day, only to look forward to going home the moment you step into office? You feel that your energy is sapped by an invisible force and you are not motivated to do anything? Well, this week I did.

It is so bad that I am constantly lost in my own thoughts, and walk in a daze.. I do not know what happened and what caused me to feel this way, but I wish that I can snap out of it soon.

During moments of soul searching, I pondered and whined about it and felt down. Until this morning...

I was driving to work, and crawling in line to get past this stretch of road on my way to work, and I looked away for 2 seconds, next thing I knew, I felt my whole car shake and realised that I hit the car in front. The realisation was so great that I was stunned for awhile. I did not know how to react, The car in front stopped to examine his car. Fortunately it was only minor scratches and paints coming off.. he did not pursue the matter and continued his journey. I was too shaken up to do anything but to continue my drive to office, thie time being extra careful that I stay away from the car in front. Secretly, I am angry with myself for this incident as it was totally my fault, and I could have avoided it. But because of my carelessness it happened. I feel really bad about this.

I examined my car when I reached my office, and thankfully it was also minor scratches to my car. I would be very hard on myself if anything serious happened.

Hours later, I read a forwarded email by a friend. It was an email on being thankful for what you have. We received forward emails like this on a daily basis, and I usually forward it on. But today it struck a chord in my heart. Although still in my lousy mood (which I have had for the whole week), I began to realise that I had more to be thankful for than being sulky.

I mean, I could have been killed in a car accident, or injured. The other car could have been badly damaged, or mine. The owner of the other car could have been a road bully or someone nasty. I could have been late for work. None of that happened. The driver left without asking for any compensation and no serious damage was done to my car and I made it to work in my usual time! I did not take all of those into account and neither did I realised how blessed I was. Something could have gone terribly wrong!

I guess I am just trying to pull myself out of this self wallowing and down mood that I am in. I am feeling slightly better but it is not enough to lift me out of this rut.. I am also thankful that weekend is near so hopefully I will recover to my normal cheerful self. I am not used to myself being like this.

The general feeling is that I need a getaway (but I just came back from one 2 months ago).. A friend say that I am burnt out, or having quarter life crisis. I don't know, perhaps..