A new chapter...

I have decided to start a new blog for Evonne, so any updates pertaining to my little princess will all be updated there.

This is so that my blog can still remain as my personal blog, dedicated to anything that I want to express, while Evonne's growing up journey deserve a blog by itself.

Just that I will have even lesser time trying to update both blogs.. well.. I try...

Oh yes, if you want to follow Evonne's journey, feel free to drop by...

www.evonne-lam.blogspot.com

A search for the lost me...

Through recent conversations with some close friends, I have slowly discovered that, in trying to please everyone, and in trying hard to fit it, I have done no one good. I have lost myself, I don't know who I am anymore, and I am definitely not happy. Not like anyone is happy, for that matter..

I have learnt to harbour things, and to keep quiet.. because there was no point bringing things up, it had always made matters worse... The aggressive and loudspoken me that once was, is now no longer in sight... A friend remarked that I am so different from school days, and she knew that I would have left all behind if the same thing happened back then.

Yes, I am no longer the old me, and I do not like the new me. If I have to, I would rather be the old me. Yes, I know I can choose to become the old me again, because life is short and I should try to live it and be happy while I am still here. Trying to please everyone is as sure as pleasing no one, that is so true but I cannot bring myself not to try and please them, and I often forget this saying too..

Yeah, I hardly have any social life anymore.. In fact, I do not remember when was the last time hubby and I went out for a nice dinner. My days are so routine now that I don't even get to go out... So bored of my current lifestyle... bored, and tired, and sian... and irritated, frustrated and unhappy... feel like leaving everything behind.. because there seems to be no way out of this but to end it. Maybe being cruel for once will be good for everyone..

Right, you have a lot of work to do..

I am in a bad mood today, bad working day.. because someone, or rather someone in a particular department at work pissed me off.

Summary of story, I did a presentation last week to stakeholders of my project, and one of them indicated that my calculation is wrong, and she will work out the calculation and let me know. So I chased her for it this week, and she got her boss and her boss' boss involved in this. In their email, all they have to say is that they are very busy, they have other things to do, and ask me to get off their back, and let them do their things. I should do the calculation on my own, and pass my calculations to them. The simple enquiry of when we can meet, and when can she pass me the calculation became a long series of emails asking me to get off their back, cc-ing everyone's boss.

Right, your department is very busy, and only your department has alot of initiatves, the rest of us are just walking around, shaking legs and waiting for our pay at the end of every month. That would be nice...