Emotional vs Physical Cheating

Someone brought up this topic of discussion and it started me thinking..

Cheating.. found some meanings of cheating from the dictionary:
1) To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
2) To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
3) To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.
4) To elude; escape: cheat death.

What constitute cheating then? If you are in a relationship and you sleep with another, we will agree outright that this person is cheating. As long as you are involved in a relationship and you have physical intimacy (and I don't mean holding hands) with another person, we consider it cheating. Society has always held this view point. Being physically intimate with someone you are not supposed to equals cheating.. the equation seems pretty logical, straightforward and clear.

But what happens when no physical intimacy is involved? If you are in a relationship and you flirt with another person (like asking them if they miss you), is it consider cheating? What I am trying to say is if physical intimacy did not take place, but emotionally one is drawn to a third party, would you consider it cheating? Initially I was a defensive NO when my friend brought it up. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that he may have a point. When you are in a relationship, any action that draws you away from the relationship (e.g. being on "over friendly" terms with another person, bordering on being intimate with another besides your partner) constitute emotional cheating. While you did not physically cheat on your partner, in your mind (whether you are concious of it) you already have.. You are no longer as committed and loyal to the relationship. Deny it if you wish, but if you ever find yourself in the situation I just described, you better start looking at your relationship and see if there's anything wrong with it.

Having said that, I thought of something else... if thinking constantly about another person, enjoying his/ her company more than your partner's, wanting to be in close contact with that someone all the time instead of your own partner are considered cheating (at least emotionally); what abour men who always fantasize about other females? Is that consider cheating too? Well, if it applies to females, this should apply to male too.Conclusion: Men who constantly fantasize about other females are cheating emotionally on their partners. NO.. I hear cries from men reading this now.. men are different. If men fantasize about other females, it's just for fun/ we can't help it/ it's harmless, bottom line is they are not serious and they are definitely not cheating. But what if females do it? Can they get away with the same excuse? Some maybe but I suspect most can't.

So emotional vs physical cheating - which one is more harmful to the relationship? I know that the male population has got this whole theory on how they can separate sex from love, when they cheat physically it does not mean that they are in love with the woman. They are still LOYAL to their partner. So let me get this straight, for males cheating is only when emotions are involved? Come on... find me a female who will buy that... If the situation is reversed, the guys will jump.. be it cheating emotionally or physically.. How many will tell their partners "It's ok honey, it's just sex, I know you were not cheating on me and you are still loyal to me..." Why the discrimination?

Personally, I think that both are detrimental to any relationship.. but if I must choose, for now I feel that physical cheating is more damaging than emotional cheating.. you may have a totally different view point altogether.. let me know your thoughts on this...
Yes, my friend is right. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you think you are still committed but are making plans on the side - beware!

It's a small world afterall..

I was introduced to blog by a new found friend.. I had so much fun reading his blog that I decided to give it a go to see what it feel like to post your own blog.. well here I am..

Few nights back, I went for a gathering organised by a friend who came back from overseas recently. The rule for invitation to dinner was simple : you have to be single and bring a friend of the opposite sex, who must also be single. The idea was for the singles to meet other single people. So my guy friend called me and it was my duty to call a male friend along.. searched through my address book : nope, this one is attached, nope, he is out of town, nope, he is not free, nope, not on talking terms with him, nope, this one is not available... to cut it short, I realised I didn't have one male friend to ask! In the end, I decided to ask my cousin along and hopefully she will be able to bring one male friend along.. well, she couldn't either (for the same reasons believe it or not...) Where are all the single guys?

Anyway, we went for dinner.. turned out that I already knew 4 out of 8 people that went that night.. we started to exchange name cards, got to know each other better.. and what do you know... my cousin's cousin (my distant cousin) was in the same college as my uni friend. And another of my uni friend actually knows my cousin's friend in Melaka because he used to teach my uni friend some accounting subject! Talk about a small world... I found out that another girl at the table knows my ex-boyfriend, and I've even visited one of the girl's house before!! Not to mention that word gets around really fast, I recently got to know this guy and was asked at the dinner table whether anything was going on between us.. I didn't even tell anyone I knew this guy.. how did they find out? Turned out that we have some common friends..

If you think about it, it's really scary how small this world is, isn't it? I mean, it's big, yet really small.. or maybe I just have a very small circle of friends..? Well, I've got another example to share. Few years back, I went for an interview and got to know one of the candidates. While we were waiting for our transport at the end of the interview, we chatted. I asked where he studied in UK, he mentioned a familiar uni name in UK, I asked if he knew this certain friend of mine. I got a shock of my life when he replied he knew this friend and... "if I am not mistaken, you are so and so's ex girlfriend right?" I mean, would you expect someone you don't know to know such facts of your life? It really dawned upon me that this is indeed a very small world afterall..

If you have not found any connection between you and someone you have just met, maybe it's because you have not searched hard enough for the link. I now believe that we are all connected, one way or another.. what do you think?