Sydney I'm here!

I am finally in Sydney for the working trip, but how come I do not feel excited?

Maybe because it is too rushed, I just came back from Hong Kong two weeks ago, but I suspect more so because I do not have my family with me. We always travel as 4, hardly apart so now hotel rooms are much bigger and quieter than usual, and my plane rides are no fun... 8 hour plane erodes are just too long for me now, takes me too far away from home and away from my loved ones.

Counting down to Friday night where I take the flight back... T-4...

Frustrated, angry and annoyed

I feel extremely unappreciated and uncared for. My emotions as a human being is totally ignored and I have become a avenue for someone to just vent out all his frustrations, whether I am at fault or not.

Whatever that I do right, nothing is being said, what I do extra being challenged,and of course what I did not do or do well gets lashing. So you see, what I do and how I do it will never be correct. Someone is just NEVER going to be happy. He just wants someone to scold to vent his frustration and I become his victim! I do not deserve this,I am a Human being too and I have feelings, just like everyone else. I can snap at everything that you do too but I choose not to.

Develop your EQ NAND control your temper. I deserve better,and I don't have to put up with your nastiness if I don't want to!

生命的脆弱

感觉到生命的脆弱。。。 无奈却也无能为力。。。
很有感慨的一天。。。

Received news from mum that my step grandfather passed away last night, and this morning received news that the aunty nanny who takes care of Oscar and Chloe passed away too, due to heart attack. Really feel that life is so fragile, and there is nothing that we can do.. no one know what will happen tomorrow, so we can only treasure everyday that we get to be with our loved ones.

Hope they all rest in peace, and that they are in a better place now.

Amen.

Working trip to Sydney

My boss has asked me to go Sydney to meet and discuss with counterparts overthere. It will be 5 working days, plus travelling time it will be a whole week.

Trip is not till end of the month, but just thinking about it right now is making me uneasy and sad.. I have never been away from my kids and hubby for sooo long... the last time we brought Evonne to London and left Marcus behind, he was still a baby and at least I had hubby and Evonne with me. This time none of them will be around... and the trip is soo long!!!

I will miss them soooooo soooo dearly!

Huge burden and stressed out at work..

It's back to work again and I feel stressed once again...
I really want to launch this project but I am inexperience, and the bosses are not helping either.
Sigh. .. now how?

Jackpot

Still got pounding headache today, resorted to taking 2 tables of panadol at one go. Now feeling better, at least no more pounding...

I have to go buy Jackpot, because although I claimed it, I must also buy it otherwise how to strike leh?
I need a less stressful job and life, and be able to spend time with my family...

结婚宣誓词

Saw this, and brought back memories...
Sigh... say easy, but can do or not? 老婆永远是第一位.. say and showing it is different. People can tell whether you really put your wife as the 1st priority... action speaks louder than words.

各位父老乡亲：

今天，是我和妻子新婚大喜的日子，历经了几年你追我赶的辛苦，今天的结合真是来之不易。所以，为了牢记这个美好时刻，珍惜这段美好姻缘，让老婆的家人放心，也让各位亲朋好友放心，现在宣誓为据：

第一，坚持老婆的绝对领导。家里老婆永远是第一位，孩子第二位，小狗第三位，我第四位。

第二，认真执行“四子”原则，对老婆像孙子，对岳母像孝子，吃饭像蚊子，干活像驴子。

第三，爱护老婆，做文明丈夫，做到“打不还手，骂不还口，笑脸迎送冷面孔。”

第四，诚心接受老婆感情上的独裁，“不要和陌生人说话”，尤其不能跟陌生女人说话。当然，问路的老太太除外。

第五，坚持工资奖金全部上缴制度。不涂改工资条，不在衣柜里藏钱。不过，每月可以申请领取500元零花。括弧，日元。

第六，积极响应“六蛋”号召。只能看老婆的脸蛋，出门前要吻脸蛋，睡觉要贴着脸蛋。老了，决不能喊她“变蛋”，老婆骂“混蛋”，我就是“软蛋”。

Get well soon lah...

I just popped another panadol, it is my third one this week...

Not only am I having prolonged flu and cough, which weakens me, I also recently developed eye infection (but thankfully I am almost recovered for that now). Have just been so tired lately, so tired that when I drive to work in the morning, I will almost fall asleep towards end of my drive, usually when I am in SMART tunnel and when it is not moving. So I resort to sleeping in the car for 15 mins after I parked for the past 2-3 days. Then I go into the office and I will have this naggy headache lightly pounding on my head.. I am just not in the mood and not able to fight the battle right now so I will take panadol to take the pain away.

Think my flu and cough is slowly going away, and hopefully I will fully recover soon. But then again, anyone seen a sick person recover quickly when she still has to do EVERYTHING that she normally does when she is not sick? That is like hauling a sick engine to its usual chores, and expect it to still function normally at usual speed, AND recover at the same time. Kind of high level of expectation lor if you ask me...

Why we need you..

Saw this article, and thought to myself, how true...
And I can still hear ringings in my ear saying "I have to do this better, do that well, do everything by myself, training me to do better..." If I am and can do everything, why would I need someone else to come take care of me?


一个女人很想和老公一起去旅游，

安排了许久，老公永远都没有空，

从此以后，她的旅程里，不再需要老公。 

她和朋友去做美容，太晚天又下雨了，

她打电话让老公来接她，

电话那头的他不耐烦的说了句：

外面下那么大雨，你就不能自己打個車回来啊？

从那时起，她便不再需要老公的接送。

冬夜和他外出，路面结冰了，很滑，

她不由自主的牵住了他的手，他卻自顧自的走著，

从此以后，她再没有需要呵護的時候。

曾经看过一句特别经典的话：

有时候女人需要一个男人，

就像逃机者需要降落伞，

如果此时此刻他不在，

那么以后他也不必在了。

这是真实的女人心理世界，

她可以很需要你，你就是一切；

她也可以再也不需要你，

你就什么都不是了！

Evonne's Photoshoot

I feel terrible that we got Evonne's dates all screwed up... and she doesn't get to wear her best on her photoshoot day in school.
For some reason we thought it is on the 10th, but it is actually today. I don't know what outfit she is wearing to take her photoshoot but I feel really bad and guilty. I am a bad mother.
Not anymore, am not going to leave it to chance, am going to calendar every activity so I will remember. Obviously brain memory is not working well these days, with so many things to think and worry about, and extra things to remember... all only depending on me to remember... brain memory full, need to insert more memory space.

Workshop

Getting jittery over the meeting starting in 5 mins... I'm conducting the workshop on CRM...
Wish me luck...

Posting on Facebook

Ever get the feeling it is no longer private nor safe to post status updates on facebook anymore?
Increasingly I am feeling that... When I want to complain about work I am wary that my colleagues are there, when I want to post something naughty, my acquaintances are there to read about it. If I want to rant about some colleagues yes colleagues are there. When I want to complain about family members oh boy they are there too... haha.. so it is no longer freedom to post...

Maybe that's why I have refrained from posting for a loong time, and I stick to other safer postings such as food porn and my kids' pic than random ramblings on fb...

Tired. Drained. Unhappy. 

Seriously... you need help

There really isn't a day that goes by without you getting angry.
Tired of your temper, flare up all you like.

It is not what others do to you that irk you, it is your inability to react to handle the situation and respond in a positive way. Think about it.

Marcus - New vocab

I have decided to try and blog down new achievements of my kids, so that I can remember and read all about it in future.

New achievements from Marcus of late:
1. He correctly identified the pictures and said the words "SUNGLASSES, CAMEL and JUMPING ROPE", which I totally did not expect. How did he get so smart? Who taught him that?
2. He mentioned to me the other day while trying to open the car door, "It's SLIPPERY!" SLIPPERY, for a 2.5 year old?
3. I came home from work one day, and he tucked at my work dress and said, " Mum, NICE DRESS" I was so surprised, and also so happy! At least one male in the house knows how to appreciate me and gives me compliment...

So that's it, the little achievements of Marcus of late, I still find it amazing about his progress.
Will find Evonne's achievements too and post about it, don't worry..

Ta ta!

Hazy Tuesday

The haze is getting worse, I just got back to work today, as I was on one day leave yesterday, and behold, the consistent routine resumes itself, early morning phone call to find fault and to scold and blame.
So my daughter's homework is my sole responsibility? When it becomes convenient it is ALWAYS my fault? Why does one have to call first thing in the morning to just find fault and scold? Is there no other reason to call me? What am I? A blame fault person so that you can feel better and relinquish your own guilt and responsibility? My mornings are almost always spoilt this way, and I cringe everytime I see a phone call from you because I know you are trying to find fault and you will inevitably find a way to scold me.

Then my mum fb message me and tells me the poster at home fell down, I can just imagine my husband's reply to this, " I told you it will not stick because the wall is too slippery, I TOLD YOU ALREADY BUT YOU STILL WANT TO STICK"...

Tired, tired tired of listening to people just complaining to me only. Maybe he is right, maybe I am the problem that's why everyone complains to me, scolds me and blame me. I allow it to happen, I allow them to do this to me. I suffer and endure the complaints in hope that there is peace and harmony but the situation just gets worse, and people start to take it for granted that I am the easy target to be blamed and scolded for everything, I am the scapegoat and they can just get rid of their guilt because they have put the blame on ME!

Irritated, tired, drained, feeling lousy, annoyed, upset...

Simply irritated, on a Monday morning...!

Arrrggghhhh...
so angry for being scolded for no reason at all... Hate people who call to spoil one's mood EVERY SINGLE TIME!

In a rude, inconsiderate way too, with a preconceived notion and intention to snap and scold one who has done nothing wrong at all!
YOU, owe me an apology!

Hehe... the little surprise

Switch was done last night, no indication of it being found out yet.
Let's see when it will be discovered... tee hee...

My new S4!

Just got my S4 last Thursday, and am simply loving my new phone!

能忍者

要发脾气谁不会？这么容易。。。谁都会！可是，要能忍和控制才算是上上策。你， 能吗？ 你，会吗？

凡事发了脾气就比较好解决吗？发了脾气你身边的人会开心点吗？只顾自己发脾气，却忽视亲人的感觉和感受，算什么好汉？

我，不喜欢身边的人随意的发脾气。 就这么简单。

Not a very high EQ period

I don't really believe in animal zodiac and all, but I have to say things happening of late made me changed my mind a little. I mean, I would go and see for the fun of it but would never believe all of what they said.

They say that this year is not a good year for Snakes, and that Snakes would be emotionally affected, some will even think of silly things, over think and all. I hate to think that I am one of them because I always believe that I have high EQ, but I have to admit that , ever since after CNY, I have been emotionally affected in more ways than one. 
At work, there are things that affects my emotions, time and again... 
At home, there are just issues and chores and having to deal with all parties...
There is no escaping from all these, no where to hide, no comfort zone, no one to talk to... no wonder I am stressed out... and no wonder I am so tired everyday. I am drained, physically from all the house chores, and emotionally from all the stress that I have to handle at home and at work. All these made worse by people who do not appreciate things that I do, and pick bones in eggs and stress me out even further. Yes, I am talking about you.

Tired. Don't want to be so drained out. My only consolation is that apparently after first month of Lunar calendar things would be looking up for me. I have 3 more days left... Just have to grit my teeth and hold it through.

Feel GOOD diary 2013

Haha.. While blogging about the do good diary, suddenly had this idea of having a feel good diary too. I suppose this is more for myself, to cheer me up, keep me going strong, motivate me when I am down, and lastly just to purely record anything positive, good that came my way during the course of day. Maybe can also act as a reminder to be thankful for what I have?

Anyway. Let's start it off and see what it eventually turns to..

#1 Redeemed a free Grande size Starbucks drink as I have accumulated enough drinks to earn it.
#2 Traffic was smooth to work today 21/02/13, and I got a relatively good parking too.
#3 Received a compliment that my 2 kids are cute and beautiful, just like me, from Kelly Woo :-) 21/02/2013,
#4 Hubby gave me a surprise and came looking for me for lunch today :-) 06/03/2013
#5 Bought mum's birthday present - a GPS for her! 06/03/2013
#6 Dress which I bought for Evonne came in a parcel today! 06/03/2013
#7 Am in a food tasting session today with the bosses, free meal yay!
#8 It's National Breakfast Day! Got my free Egg McMuffin from McD!

Do GOOD Diary 2013

I have decided to start this diary, to record my good doings for the year. This will incentivize me to more good, and also to reflect in the future of what good deeds were done throughout the year. Feel good factor if yo like... Well, a good deed should not go unrecognized right? Even if it's only recognized by myself.

Well, here we go..

#1 stopped when I have right of way, and allowed a Silver Toyota car to exit from a junction while on the way to work.

Pain!

I was carrying Marcus down the stairs with a toy trolley because he was crying after waking up, and somehow I fell at the turning point of the stairs while holding onto Marcus. Thankfully Marcus wasn't hurt, but I think his leg might have been bruised slightly because of the awkward way I fell.
Me? Well, I have big bruises on both legs, with skin coming out. I did not realize it But a big piece of my left elbow's skin is also scrapped off so now those injured area are all raw and expose to air and things. The slightest touch tithe wound will cause me to jump... It is just so painful.

My husband, who heard my scream when I fell, came and look and check. Once I told him that I fell down, his reaction was was not careful, next was why was I holding onto Marcus still which is why I fell. From just now until now he did not even ask was it painful, where did I hurt myself, was there any blood? NOTHING! I am not sure whether I am more upset or angry now.

He should manage his time and fold all his prayer stuff when the kids were asleep, not when they are awake and running around. He expects me to go and run after the two while he peacefully folds hs stuff there, right in the living room? It is impossible to control the movements of those two nice they are awake, if he thinks it is possible I'd like to see him do it! It is always like that, he just expect things to be done his way, everything and everyone to follow his time, his rules, his words... And when he says he is busy, you must MAKE SURE nothing disturbs him! So this being the case, and now I have multiple bruises on my hand and legs to remind me, do you really think I Want to have another baby so that I can be even busier than now, and have to run after 3kids? NO WAY man!!!!! You have clearly show your reaction and compassion during such circumstances, and I am not satisfied with it. S the answer is NO!

Appointment with dentist

Am going to see the dentist again now to fix up my teeth, the filling that she did for me 2 weeks ago is hurting every time I try to chew on something, so its making life really miserable for me. Lets hope hat this trip is the last visit until June when I have to go scaling again...

Good morning...

Start of the new year, and everything is almost back in full swing... Including the jam...
Took me 1.5 hours to get to work this morning.... It was jaammmmm man! No more getting up slightly later in the morning.. And pretty soon have to pack daughter's school stuff and iron her uniform too...

Being stuck in the jam is taking to much of my time... Precious time wasted on traveling to and from work everyday. Thankfully I have my iPad, so sometimes when I'm stuck in jam I can a least check my mails, surf the net or just play a game or two to alleviate my boredom.

But should such routine be continued?