A blog everyday?

I was recently "reprimanded" for not updating my blog often enough.. one friend commented that it was boring because I don't update it enough, and another.. well she just mentioned that I should update it everyday with short stories of my life, if I have nothing else to say.. I didn't even know people come to my blog so often to read.. ok ok.. I'll try.

Have you ever had to work without your left/ right hand man? I am in that position now. My secretary is on leave till nxt year, and so are my two other colleagues. I am basically running the show alone in the office. Being new in this department does not help, I can't find half the stuff I'm supposed to so I am keeping everything under the heading "pending". In days like these, I pray that nothing serious happens because I have no one around me to ask/ refer to.

Maybe some of you do not have the luxury of having a secretary. I didn't use to have one till I moved to this department 4 months ago. Well, having a secretary is a good and bad thing.. the good thing is she sorts all my mails, organise things for me. My task is basically to read, decide and delegate. But now, I have to sort, organise, read, decide and action. Workload becomes threefold when my other colleague is not around too. I sometimes wonder why do I allow this to happen? The bad thing about having a secretary.. well she reminds you of everything that you need to do. She will not let you forget things that you do not want to do (but supposed to), and she's the one who brings in tonnes of paperwork for me to clear. When she is not around, I I can leave for home earlier so sometimes I do wish that she goes on leave (but not long leave).. hehe..
That's my thought for the day..

Christmas

I love the feeling of Christmas.. actually I think I love the feeling of pre-Christmas better than Christmas itself.

Weeks before Christmas, retail shops, malls and streets will be litted with colourful decorations. I have always wondered why does Christmas bring this funny and fuzzy feeling.. everywhere you go, everybody seem to be doing last minute shopping, gift wrapping counters are jam packed with people queuing up.. everywhere you go, people are humming christmas songs..

Let's see, what do I like about Christmas:
-it's celebrated by all
-the season to bury the hatchet and forgive
-the time for family bonding
-an occasion to dress up
-an occasion to buy christmas presents and see how normal items transform into pretty boxes with decorations
-an occasion to receive presents
-christmas feast (think turkey, cranberry sauce, logcakes.. )
-beautifully decorated christmas items everywhere (malls, streets, shops, individual residences)
-merry christmas jingles (which everyone seems to know)
-an occasion to party

For me, Christmas this year will be quiet. I have not lined up any activities for it. Come what may, I think I will just have a quiet Christmas this year, for a change. But, not before I make my colleagues sing Christmas carols today.. hehe.. this should be fun.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Falling in Love..

No, this blog is not about me falling in love.. don't be mislead by the title.. sorry to disappoint you guys, no juicy bits to tell here..

I was looking through some stuff and I stumbled upon this letter printed out by a friend to me many years ago. At the time I was mending a broken heart and she thought it might help. It did, and I just want to share this with all the people whose heart had been broken at least once in their life.. I think it is very meaningful and I hope you like it too.

Extracts from the book "Letters to my Son" by Ken Nerburn

It is a mystery why we fall in love
It is a mystery how it happens
It is a myestery when it comes
It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a myestery why some love fails

You can analyse this mystery and look for reasons and causes , but you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience

Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share

And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its way

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share

More often it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that is freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away

When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try deperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on

They want answers where there is no answers

They want t know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different , love would bloom again

They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life together their love will grow

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery

You need to know this about love, and to accept it
You need to treat what is brings you with kindness

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you be gentle with yourself
There is nothing wrong with you
Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart

If you find someone else in love with you but you don't love him, feel honoured that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return

Do not take advantage and do not cause pain
How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame

Let it go
There is a reason and there is a meaning
You will know in time

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you
All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit
Give it to the world around you in any way you can
This is where many lovers go wrong
Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need
They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing teir love as a need They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love
They forget that the secret to love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away

Remember this, and keep it to your heart
Love has its own time, its own seasons and its own reasons for coming and going
You cannot bride it or coerce it, or reason it into staying
You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do

Love always has been and always will be a mystery
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life
IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN IT WILL COME AGAIN...

Day 3 in the Sulphur city...

Woke up and wondered for a moment where I was.. oh yes, Kiwipaka YHA in Rototua.. weather was still cold and the simple task of washing up was harder than it normally is.. I had Maggie noodles for breakfast.. (Somehow maggie mee always taste better when you are away from home) and we had a quick tour around town.

Next on the tour list - Lady Knox Geyser.. we had to get there by 10.15am as we were told that Lady Knox has a bad temper and spout at 10.15 every morning.. hhmmmm wonder why.. turned out that her temper was infuriated by 300 grams of soap powder. Apparently it's the chemical reaction that causes the geyser to "explode" to a height of 1.6m max and that amount of soap powder can lasts for an hour.. exciting huh?

We proceeded to Wai-O-Tapu (Sacred Waters) Thermal Wonderland. Covering some 18sq km, with the volcanic dome of Maungakakaramea (Rainbow Mountain) at its northern boundary, the area is literally covered with collapsed craters, cold and boiling pools of mud, water and steaming fumaroles. The area is associated with volcanic activity dating back about 160,000 years. The Wai-O-Tapu stream gives its name to the area as it forms an integral part of the drainage system which ultimately flows into the Waikato river and out into the Tasman Sea. If you ask me, the first thing (and probably the last thing) that greets you when you walked inside the Wai-O-Tapu is the wonderful smell of sulphur (if you like the smell of rotten egg, that is..) I think I smelled enough sulphur in Rotorua to lasts me a whole year.. the whole experience was interesting but marred by the smell.. enough said.

Huka Fall was our next destination. We opted to see Huka Fall upclose, in a Huka jet! We were dressed like Neo in Matrix (imagine his black robe) and had the safety jacket on as well. The cheeky driver (what do you call a person who drives the jet boat? Can't seem to think now) deliberately drove near to the river bank in sharp turns, missing tree branches and ducks by inches.. and he made several 360 degree turns, making sure all of us got wet, before we arrived near the base of Huka Fall. To see waterfall from the river itself brings a whole new meaning to the word waterfall..

From there, we bid farewell to Rotorua and made our way back to Auckland and our now familiar Auckland City YHA. If you are thinking that we must be tired by then, you are right, I fell asleep soon after.

Days 4-7

Visited more places, bought souvenirs and headed for home. (Sorry, I got kinda tired trying to spell out my entire journey..)

In conclusion, Auckland was fun, but I don't think it has enough to keep me coming back.. Kia Ora, Cit of Sails..!

Kia Ora..!

After 10.5 hours of flight, we were finally in the city of Sails - Auckland! Time - 9am here, 5 hours ahead of Malaysia time. The airport looks new and nice, and not much queue at immigration. After collecting our luggage, we were told to leave our bags on the floor so that the dogs can sniff for drugs, food.. etc. The dog seemed to like my mum's backpack alot so her backpack was opened. Much to the amusement of the custom lady, my mum had a whole bag of medicine (I mean a big bag), chips, bread and butter and jam (courtesy of Singapore Airlines..). But thankfully she signed the custom form and let us through after that.

First stop - Visitor Center. Took lots of brochures and opted for airport shuttle to our accommodation. It was NZ27 for both of us. The ride to town took about 40 minutes, and soon we can see the Sheraton. Ah yes, Sheraton, the luxurious 5 Star hotel. The airport shuttle took us right towards Sheraton, passed it and stopped next to it, at the Youth Hostel Association (YHA).. hehe caught you there didn't I? Serve you right for not reading my earlier blog, I mentioned it in one of them that I'm staying at YHA during my Auckland trip.

For NZ32 a night (if you are a YHA member, otherwise I think you pay NZ3 or NZ4 more per night), the place is rather nice. We opted for a twin room, bathrooms and toilets are common sharing, but they are well maintained. There are 2 YHAs in town, separated by 1 street. The one we stayed in is the older one, which has 7 floors, and houses about 10 rooms per floor. Kitchen is big and has all the utensils one need to cook. Pots, pans, plates, bowls, saucers, glasses, forks, spoons, knifes, free food (pepper, lea perrins..) are all provided for. Only rule is you clean and wipe after your meals. You can also opt for breakfast at the bistro for NZ5.50 for baked beans, omelette and toast. YHA Auckland City also has a laundry room, a TV lounge and a sun deck (pretty cool huh?). And because many travellers stay in YHA (it is a 4 Star bckpackers hostel), it also has a Travel Center with loads of brochures and bookings can be arranged should you need it. Plenty of facilities if you ask me. I like it, it reminds me of my uni days when I stayed at the uni accommodation.

Next stop, Sky Tower. It took us only 15 minutes to walk from YHA to Sky Tower. Rising 328m above Auckland with 360 degree views from three observation levels, it's the tallest structure in the Southerm Hemisphere. We took the normal tourist route, i.e. pay for the entrance fee and take the lift up to the main observation deck. The moment we reached the observation deck, we were told there'll be a jumper in 2 minutes (huh?) Apparently, you can opt to bungee jump from Sky Tower. Yup.. we waited and saw the brave jumper literally dropped down and hanging outside the glass panel before being lowered to the ground. Scary experience if you ask me. In theory, I would like to go for the experience, but if I am even afraid to walk on the glass floor panels.. The view from the deck is amazing, the 360 degree view allows you to see both the city center, the harbour front and some of the nearby islands..

A visit to Sky Tower is not complete without a visit to the Sky Casino. The casino staff actually stopped me and asked for my ID! I informed him that I am definitely above the age limit but he wanted to be sure anyhow. He thought I looked 20! I find it hard to swallow this "compliment".. I was however not impressed with the casino, no fancy architecture, no crowd and it's not big enough. I actually thought Genting casino is much better.

From Sky Tower, we moved on to Victoria Park Market. A flea market that houses about 85 stalls, selling a wide range of goods from Maduka honey to wool products to clothes. After our recent travelling experience, we have learnt our lesson of not buying souvenirs on Day 1. Made a short tour and went to New World, one of the big supermarkets in Auckland.

Seeing that we have the facilities to cook at YHA, we bought oil, eggs, ham, bacons, bread, orange juice and milk. (little did I know that I will be eating the same things for the next 7 days!) We also stocked up on snacks - potato chips, fruits and chocolates! Obviously we couldn't carry all our groceries and walk back to YHA, so we took the City Link bus. It is a bus service that runs a fixed route across town. At NZ1.30 per trip, you can sit all the way to the final destination and back if you so wished. Fortunately the bus stopped near to our hostel. After unpacking and labelling our food stuff in the kitchen, we took a nap. (hey, we have not had a proper sleep for the last 20 hours!) A rejuvenating 1 hour nap later, we booked a 2 day tour to Rotorua, departing the next morning. A friend in Auckland offered to take us out for dinner (cool!) So at 7pm, we went out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant in town (What? Chinese food... yes, I know I am in Auckland, but apparently this restaurant's food it pretty good).

We had salmon sashimi (fresh and yummy!), salmon in black pepper, sizzling lamb cutlet and asparagus with scallops, all washed down with Riesling sweet white wine.. simply delicious. Good food, great company, what more can I ask for?

My first day in Auckland was not over yet. We went to a 24 hour supermarket to buy chocolates and kapiti ice cream (a local famous producer of cheese and ice cream). I tried the fig and honey flavour.. it is superb...! I must say that this trip is doing my figure alot of "good" thus far.. yawwwnnnn... tired and time to head back to YHA for some sleep.

Day 2

Woke up at 6am (that's 1am Malaysia time, yawn... what am I doing up at this insane hour? Some of my friends are not even asleep yet and I am already awake). Ate our breakfast and the coach came to take us to Rotorua!

First stop, the Waitomo cave (wai means "water and tomo means "hole in Maori language) where we walked through some spectacular "decorations" of stalactites, stalagmites and sculptures developed over thousands of years and are a result of water dripping from the roof of the cave or flowing over the exposed limestone walls. But that was not my favourite part of this visit. Afterall, I've been to Halong Bay in Hanoi and the Kart Caves in Kunming and they offer better scenery if we are to compare the works of Mother Nature. The highlight of the tour was a boat trip through the spectacular Glowworm Grotto. A fairly normal dark damp cave becomes quite extraordinary when you look up and see thousands of lights from the glowworms clinging to the ceiling of the cave. If in Kuala Selangor fireflies look like blinking christmas lights, then in Waitomo it felt like a sky full of shining stars. It was just mesmerising. You have to see it to believe it and feel the serenity it brings when you look up. Simply amazing... sigh...

From there, we continued our journey to Rotorua. Our first destination in Rotorua was our hostel, Kiwipaka YHA. I like this YHA less as the rooms are smaller and it was a double decker so I have to climb up to my bed. And the showers and toilets are situated outside, with no covered area, i.e. you will have to walk in open air to shower or wash up. It does not help that weather in Rotorua was so so so so cold (I cannot emphasise this enough because I did not bring enough warm clothings for this trip.. thinking that it's summer in NZ. And even New Zealanders commented that it is unusual to be cold this time of the year). It is so cold that despite wearing 3 layers (thin ones), I was still shivering.

Anyway, we were leaving for a traditional Maori dinner, Hangi. During the bus ride, we were thought a few Maori phrases. I shall attempt to repeat and share them with you. Those with * means I'm not too sure of the actual pronunciation so be careful if you are to use it. Here we go:

Paki paki - Clap
Waka - Canoe or adapted to mean any mode of transportation in modern times
*Eewie - Tribe
*Rengatida - Leader
Kia Ora - Good health. It is now widely used to mean hello or good bye, I likened it to cheers (or cheers mate) by the British people.

Before we feast on Hangi (a traditional way of cooking) dinner, we were entertained by Maori dancers. We heard them sing and we saw them dance, lovely performance.. and dinner was served. Dinner was buffet style.. there were carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, coleslaw, chicken, fish, mussels (yum!) I forgot the rest.. and for dessert we had mixed fruits and chocolate pudding with cream custard..

It was time to bid farewell to the Maori village. As we head back to the hostel, our bus driver called upon the respective countrymen to sing a song in their national language. It was fun listening to people from different country singing their songs.. We heard it from the Koreans, US citizens, Canadian, German, Frenchmen and Australian.. What did we sing as Malaysians? Nothing... we kept very quiet in hope that no one will realise that we have not sung. What? I wanted to volunteer but I didn't know what song to sing. I didn't want to sing the national anthem, and I am ashame to admit that I do not know the full lyrics of any Malay songs.. Hmmm.. what would you have sung?

As we approach a roundabout, the driver made us wave our hands in the air and "yee haw" to a certain cue. And... he went round and round and round the roundabout, singing the tune "She'll be coming round the mountain when she come..." Must admit it was fun..

My Day 2 ended with a serious contemplation of whether to walk out in the bitter cold weather to the bathroom for my shower.. it was no easy task deciding.. but in the end I finally decided yes, I will shower.. bbrrrrrrrr..... cold...

I am bored...

Cannot believe it... after one long week of hectic travelling, mahjong sessions, marketing conference, duty socialising and I am back in PJ. I thought I would be glad to be back, in the comfort of my room, familiar surroundings, mobility (my car!) but no... I actually feel ... bored....!

I was bored since last night, and after unpacking and my shower, I was waiting for something to happen.. anything! A phone call to ask me out for mamak, gossips, drinks, chats.. etc.. anything... but nothing happened... well, ok, I was tired and not many people knew I was back... ok.. off to bed early and let's see what happens tomorrow...

Sunday morning, mom woke me up to go KL to join YHA (Youth Hostel Association).. We are heading to Auckland this coming Wednesday (Yahoo..! Another week of holiday without work...!) so we were thinking of staying at the YHA.. then it's off to Low Yat plaza to buy some stuff and money changer to change NZ currencies.. most of the money changers in town were closed and when we managed to find one that's open, they ran out of NZ dollars.. what luck! And can you believe the exchange rate is now 2.75?! This trip is gonna cost me more than I expected... hmmm.. anyone wanna sponsor my trip?

My computer is down as well... Don't know what happened during my conference in Singapore, but mom used it and now I can't start Windows.. well, I am no computer expert, I asked a few of my friends.. some said it's virus attack and I need to reboot, some say I need to reformat, others say I don't know... I tried to do what they told me to, only to find out that I am no computer expert, in fact I am quite bad at it... but I badly need to use the internet.. I've been away from it for a week.. my hotmail must be over it's storage limit by now... and I need to know if my friend in Auckland will be generous enough to let me stay over for a couple of nights.. so I am out in some cyber cafe using the internet... well, friend in Auckland did not reply so I guess lucky I joined YHA.. hehe..

I am bored.. I am sure you can tell by now... there's no theme to this blog and I am just typing the first thing that comes to mind.. what do you expect, I am in some busy internet cafe, with people talking and chatting loudly behind me, and the coffee machine whizzing away in the near background...

Again... I am bored... where are all my friends? Good question.. I tried calling some of them... and sms-ing others, some are out, some with appointments, some didn't pick up or return my call, some are busy doing something and will call me later (you guys know who you are...) so I am here in the internet cafe, writing a blog... (if you call this one) I actually had something in my mind for my next blog... I had a whole draft with main points written out during my marketing conference in Singapore (hehe.. during the boring moments of my marketing conference, I needed something to keep me awake...) but now I can't even remember what I wanted to write about... All I know is, I have to get back to work tomorrow... Arrrggghhhhh...! Do I have to? I know what awaits me when I get back to the office tomorrow and I am really not so keen to face it.. Probably tonnes of e-mail, petty staff related issues and a whole lot more of other remotely related issues waiting for me... yucks...

Ok, tried to talk about other things but failed miserably.. just not in the mood to write anything..
I'll qualify this as a blog... night everybody..

Me complaining about a new gym..

I had no idea how to title this blog so I put in the first thing that came to my mind..
I had this sudden inclination to talk about this new gym that I went to 2 nights ago so here I go..

This gym is new in town and located right smack in a popular shopping mall in PJ (no points if you guessed it right). I was issued a 7-day pass few weeks back, so after many sessions of glorious food and some calories counting (I said some because I don't want to know the actual calories and please do not attempt to tell me..), I decided to go gym and try losing some weight(I used 'some' again but this time it's used in the context of duping myself into thinking I will lose more calories than I actually did.. clever, ain't I?)

My first misadventure was at the entrance of the gym "access denied" - reason I forgot to bring my 7-day pass. Actually I was too lazy to search for it at home and thought that the gym will be liberal and let me in since it's so new and membership is lacking anyway.. WRONG! "I'm sorry you need the 7-day pass, or the yellow copy of our membership agreement issued by any of our consultants" Fine, can you get me one consultant then? The ironic thing was my cousin, who registered the day before, was told that she could bring a friend the next time round but I was having problem trying to enter the gym.. so first impression NO GOOD.. Finally they got the consultant who issued the yellow form to my cousin the day before and I was allowed to enter.. Phew... (I was dressed in gym attire and if I could not get in, I would be forced to walk around the mall until my cousin finished with her workout..)

Got in, consultant (let's call him J) took us on a brief tour of the gym and told us that he will talk to us again after our workout. Fine.. went to the ladies changing room, put our things in the locker only to find that (Get this..) you have to bring your own padlock for the locker! Obviously I did not bring a padlock with me so I had my valuables parked in my cousin's locker (She brought one). If you don't have a padlock, too bad, anyone can just open your locker. Who in their right mind bring a padlock to gym? I found out their logic to this later - technically since you brought the padlock, only you have the key and no one else so the responsibility is entirely yours if something goes missing from your locker. Pretty safe isn't it? (Clever until I found out that they actually have a cutter in case someone loses their keys...Where's the safety?)

Anyway the gym provides towel but I had to encounter another adventure before getting mine.. Apparently to get the towel, you have to show the yellow form (here we go again..) and your driver's license (huh?) Ok, first I don't have the yellow form because J didn't issue me one (he said later) and I have to leave my driver's license with them to get towels? Yeah I understand the logic of making members return their towels.. but can't help but wonder what kind of members they have.. (obviously towel-lovers)

Did my workout, the machines were fine... variety was good and you can workout different muscle group with different machines.. Had to wait for 5 minutes at the cooler to fill my water bottle though (I'm guessing because the water pressure was low or it could be another ploy by the gym so that members will pay RM6.50 to get an organic drink/ juice from the juice bar).
Ok, end of workout (yes pretty short workout)

To cool down, we wanted to go out and get a drink (I am not paying RM6.50 for a juice in this gym) but to get in again you need the ______ ( you guessed it, the yellow membership agreement form which I didn't have). Had to scout for J and coerced him to give me the mighty yellow form before I run into more problems of not having one..

If you think things were bad enough already. you are in for a surprise...
Went to the changing room.. hhmmmm it's dark, where do I turn the lights on.. wait a minute, there is no light.. (yup) never mind I'll just change in the dark.. hhmm where do I hang my clothes ? Can you believe they have no hooks in the changing room either? Do they expect me to put my clothes on the floor or do they expect me to put their towels on the floor? (I can see you are amused..) oh fine they're still new I'll put up with it.. Went to the shower, yikes, shower curtains instead of doors? Personally I have no qualms about shower curtains, but at a gym where usage is high I hate to imagine the colour of shower curtains in 3 months time.. and shower curtains stick to you (yuck..) and there are no hooks in the showers too! (by now surely you are not surprised anymore) Oh alright, there is 1 hook outside every shower and a small little triangle steel holder for you to put your toiletries. (I had one bag of toiletries so I put it on a chair outside the shower and grab what I needed..)

Anyway I didn't like the facilities and the whole experience.. my cousin and I proceeded to feedback to the manager about our (ahem..) comments. Would you believe that he did not know that there were no lights and hooks in the changing room? Of course I can understand that it's ladies changing room and he can't go in there during operational hours, but after they close? No other members gave feedback on that? How weird.. (back to my question on what kind of members they have.. must be both towel and peace-lovers)

I think we must have complaint quite abit because the manager finally asked if there was anything we liked about the gym (hehe..) My cousin liked the towels and I like the variety of machines that they have.. we left after the manager promised to look into the issues we raised. Haha.. funny.. I'm in the customer service line and I know exactly what they mean when they say that and when they use the line..

Maybe precisely because I'm in this line, I know I need to give my feedback when I see something not right.. or maybe because I've seen and met too many complaining passengers so I know how to complain? Or perhaps I've been on the receiving end far too long and for once it's nice to switch roles? Then again I have a funny feeling it's because of recent influence from a rather opinionated friend..

Do you have a choice?

Often, I hear this :
"I have no choice...!"
"It's not as if I have a choice.."
"If I had a choice, do you think I'd still be here?"

What is your definition of "no choice"? Is it
a) I have no other alternatives,
b) I choose not to think about other alternatives, or
c) I have other alternatives, but I am not willing to take them?

For me, it is definition c). Friends who spoke to me on this topic before will know that I stand by this theory. Why c)? Let's see if I can explain this... ok, for me I believe there is no such thing as "no choice"... A choice is always available.. Everyone has a choice, ALWAYS.. it is only IF they are willing to live with the consequences of their choice.

I know you are not convinced yet.. let me try harder. Say if you are unhappy with your current job (for whatever reason) what can you do? You can
a) Look for another job
b) Get yourself transferred to another department
c) Talk to someone who will be able to change this
d) Learn skills required for another job/ industry

Now if you don't consider all of the above choices, I don't know what to say.. because they are. If other factors such as your capabilities/ confidence in securing another job/ being afraid of the unknown/ having other commitments are stopping you from making the choices, it is another matter altogether. The fact is, you do have a choice. Taking other factors into account and deciding to stay in a job IS a choice. As a result of your decision, you will have to accept and live with the package that comes with this choice.

Likewise in relationships, your choice of staying in an unhappy relationship vs. moving on is a choice. You make the choice, you bear the consequences.

"But you do not understand my situation.." "Mine is different.." "you are not in my position.." I hear you say.. Granted, no one's situation is exactly alike but does it mean that you do not have a choice? Give it a thought, more often than not, it is our refusal to look into other possibilities and unwillingness to change..

I have not found any situation where I cannot apply this theory... except one (My friend had to take up the challenge to prove me wrong.. :-p). His theory is that you cannot choose your parents.. there is no choice for us in this case. Reluctantly I had to agree (before I stubbornly tried to tell him that you can always disown your parents.. hheeyy.... it's a choice...)

Emotional vs Physical Cheating

Someone brought up this topic of discussion and it started me thinking..

Cheating.. found some meanings of cheating from the dictionary:
1) To deceive by trickery; swindle: cheated customers by overcharging them for purchases.
2) To deprive by trickery; defraud: cheated them of their land.
3) To mislead; fool: illusions that cheat the eye.
4) To elude; escape: cheat death.

What constitute cheating then? If you are in a relationship and you sleep with another, we will agree outright that this person is cheating. As long as you are involved in a relationship and you have physical intimacy (and I don't mean holding hands) with another person, we consider it cheating. Society has always held this view point. Being physically intimate with someone you are not supposed to equals cheating.. the equation seems pretty logical, straightforward and clear.

But what happens when no physical intimacy is involved? If you are in a relationship and you flirt with another person (like asking them if they miss you), is it consider cheating? What I am trying to say is if physical intimacy did not take place, but emotionally one is drawn to a third party, would you consider it cheating? Initially I was a defensive NO when my friend brought it up. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that he may have a point. When you are in a relationship, any action that draws you away from the relationship (e.g. being on "over friendly" terms with another person, bordering on being intimate with another besides your partner) constitute emotional cheating. While you did not physically cheat on your partner, in your mind (whether you are concious of it) you already have.. You are no longer as committed and loyal to the relationship. Deny it if you wish, but if you ever find yourself in the situation I just described, you better start looking at your relationship and see if there's anything wrong with it.

Having said that, I thought of something else... if thinking constantly about another person, enjoying his/ her company more than your partner's, wanting to be in close contact with that someone all the time instead of your own partner are considered cheating (at least emotionally); what abour men who always fantasize about other females? Is that consider cheating too? Well, if it applies to females, this should apply to male too.Conclusion: Men who constantly fantasize about other females are cheating emotionally on their partners. NO.. I hear cries from men reading this now.. men are different. If men fantasize about other females, it's just for fun/ we can't help it/ it's harmless, bottom line is they are not serious and they are definitely not cheating. But what if females do it? Can they get away with the same excuse? Some maybe but I suspect most can't.

So emotional vs physical cheating - which one is more harmful to the relationship? I know that the male population has got this whole theory on how they can separate sex from love, when they cheat physically it does not mean that they are in love with the woman. They are still LOYAL to their partner. So let me get this straight, for males cheating is only when emotions are involved? Come on... find me a female who will buy that... If the situation is reversed, the guys will jump.. be it cheating emotionally or physically.. How many will tell their partners "It's ok honey, it's just sex, I know you were not cheating on me and you are still loyal to me..." Why the discrimination?

Personally, I think that both are detrimental to any relationship.. but if I must choose, for now I feel that physical cheating is more damaging than emotional cheating.. you may have a totally different view point altogether.. let me know your thoughts on this...
Yes, my friend is right. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you think you are still committed but are making plans on the side - beware!

It's a small world afterall..

I was introduced to blog by a new found friend.. I had so much fun reading his blog that I decided to give it a go to see what it feel like to post your own blog.. well here I am..

Few nights back, I went for a gathering organised by a friend who came back from overseas recently. The rule for invitation to dinner was simple : you have to be single and bring a friend of the opposite sex, who must also be single. The idea was for the singles to meet other single people. So my guy friend called me and it was my duty to call a male friend along.. searched through my address book : nope, this one is attached, nope, he is out of town, nope, he is not free, nope, not on talking terms with him, nope, this one is not available... to cut it short, I realised I didn't have one male friend to ask! In the end, I decided to ask my cousin along and hopefully she will be able to bring one male friend along.. well, she couldn't either (for the same reasons believe it or not...) Where are all the single guys?

Anyway, we went for dinner.. turned out that I already knew 4 out of 8 people that went that night.. we started to exchange name cards, got to know each other better.. and what do you know... my cousin's cousin (my distant cousin) was in the same college as my uni friend. And another of my uni friend actually knows my cousin's friend in Melaka because he used to teach my uni friend some accounting subject! Talk about a small world... I found out that another girl at the table knows my ex-boyfriend, and I've even visited one of the girl's house before!! Not to mention that word gets around really fast, I recently got to know this guy and was asked at the dinner table whether anything was going on between us.. I didn't even tell anyone I knew this guy.. how did they find out? Turned out that we have some common friends..

If you think about it, it's really scary how small this world is, isn't it? I mean, it's big, yet really small.. or maybe I just have a very small circle of friends..? Well, I've got another example to share. Few years back, I went for an interview and got to know one of the candidates. While we were waiting for our transport at the end of the interview, we chatted. I asked where he studied in UK, he mentioned a familiar uni name in UK, I asked if he knew this certain friend of mine. I got a shock of my life when he replied he knew this friend and... "if I am not mistaken, you are so and so's ex girlfriend right?" I mean, would you expect someone you don't know to know such facts of your life? It really dawned upon me that this is indeed a very small world afterall..

If you have not found any connection between you and someone you have just met, maybe it's because you have not searched hard enough for the link. I now believe that we are all connected, one way or another.. what do you think?