Falling in Love..

No, this blog is not about me falling in love.. don't be mislead by the title.. sorry to disappoint you guys, no juicy bits to tell here..

I was looking through some stuff and I stumbled upon this letter printed out by a friend to me many years ago. At the time I was mending a broken heart and she thought it might help. It did, and I just want to share this with all the people whose heart had been broken at least once in their life.. I think it is very meaningful and I hope you like it too.

Extracts from the book "Letters to my Son" by Ken Nerburn

It is a mystery why we fall in love
It is a mystery how it happens
It is a myestery when it comes
It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a myestery why some love fails

You can analyse this mystery and look for reasons and causes , but you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience

Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share

And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its way

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share

More often it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that is freely given and a gift that just as freely moves away

When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try deperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on

They want answers where there is no answers

They want t know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different , love would bloom again

They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life together their love will grow

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery

You need to know this about love, and to accept it
You need to treat what is brings you with kindness

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you be gentle with yourself
There is nothing wrong with you
Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart

If you find someone else in love with you but you don't love him, feel honoured that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return

Do not take advantage and do not cause pain
How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different

If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame

Let it go
There is a reason and there is a meaning
You will know in time

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you
All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit
Give it to the world around you in any way you can
This is where many lovers go wrong
Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need
They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing teir love as a need They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love
They forget that the secret to love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away

Remember this, and keep it to your heart
Love has its own time, its own seasons and its own reasons for coming and going
You cannot bride it or coerce it, or reason it into staying
You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do

Love always has been and always will be a mystery
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life
IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN IT WILL COME AGAIN...